Here’s the penalty kick-filled finale of the Ocean State Soccer Classic!!  Brown and Providence College battled through 120 minutes of scoreless play on a lovely Labor Day afternoon. But our neighbors went on to grab the title, scoring five penalty shots to our four.  No worries, though — the game counts as a tie, so the Bears are still undefeated this year!

Catch the start of the Brown Soccer Classic (much cooler than the Ocean State one) this Friday at Stevenson Field.  Bears vs. South Carolina Gamecocks, 7 p.m.  View the full schedule here.

Want an Econ11 book, but don’t want to pay bookstore prices? Need a parking space near campus? The lovely folks at Spotted At Brown have answered yours prayers with the Brown Classifieds, a free website where Brown students can post items to buy or sell, from textbooks to TVs.

There are only about ten items listed on it so far, but since “free” and “local” are some of our favorite words, we think it’ll catch on.

The BCA has informed us that tickets will be available Starting Wednesday, September 8 at 8am. Tickets will be available on Brown Marketplace (http://bsa.brown.edu/) and will cost $13 each.  Only 1 ticket per Brown ID.  Half will be available Wednesday morning with the other half available Thursday morning, also at 8 AM. Students can pick up their tickets starting the week of Monday, September 13 from 5pm-8pm at the Stephen Roberts Campus Center (Faunce) Information and Welcome Center desk.

©Tim Hetherington

“Restrepo,” the companion documentary to Sebastian Junger’s best-selling book War, diligently follows a US platoon during their 15 month deployment in the Korangal Valley, which had been considered as perhaps the most dangerous posting in the US military. Fittingly so, Restrepo is ugly. Yes, the cinematography is nothing short of beautiful, especially considering the circumstances. One can almost feel the pull of the choppers taking off, the pulse of the guns as they fire. But sharing the hell that these soldiers underwent daily for 15 months, and the contrivances they had created to distract themselves, indeed fills one with awe at just how human war can be; it’s the moments in-between the fighting – somberly strumming a guitar, shuffling through pictures of family, swapping stories about old friends who won’t make it home – that are when the real struggle takes place.

It’s difficult to walk out of Restrepo with much hope for our situation in Afghanistan. For any who have secretly harbored the question, ‘What’s taking so long over there?’ one look at the stunningly forested, unforgiving terrain of the Korangal Valley instantly pushes those doubts aside. And for any who have strong opinions about the morality of this war, whether positive or negative, in the Korangal there’s little evidence to support either view. There are tears at the deaths of US soldiers, and jubilation at the deaths of the faceless Taliban. At this micro level, the larger objective of ‘freedom’ manifests itself in the accidental bombing of a civilian home and its grisly results; the larger objective of ‘equality’ is neatly wrapped up when, after news of 9 US deaths at another location, the sergeant at Restrepo motivates his unit by saying, “Let’s go out there and make those f****s feel exactly how we feel right now.” Where is the difference? What is the objective again?

On many levels, it feels like the struggle to win the hearts and minds of those in Afghanistan has also failed to capture the hearts and minds of the public, Brown University included. Restrepo is a blow to the gut, but one that we should all take.

Restrepo is playing nightly, at 8:35, at the Avon.

University Hall

Welcome to the third and final installment of our serialization of Post- Magazine‘s Brown A-Z.  In here we have some vital terms for freshmen defined such as S/NC, UCS, and most importantly sexile (sex+exile=sexile).  Once again, if anyone can think of any terms we missed, or any corrections to our list (we aren’t perfect), just post them in the comment section.  Enjoy!

Pacifica House: Brown’s one and only secret society. So secret, in fact, that you can visit their Web site.

Parking Space: Something you’ll never find in Providence, anywhere. And certainly not for more than two hours.

Patriot’s Court: An extension of Wriston Quad. A bit quieter, in theory. Otherwise unremarkable.

Pawtucket: A city bordering Providence, which is pronounced puhTUCKet, not PAWtucket. The locals tend to get rabid if you say it wrong. The movie “Outside Providence” takes place here.

Pembroke: The northern part of Brown’s campus used to be Pembroke College, an all-female coordinate to Brown. The official merge occurred in 1970, though under-the-table sexiling had been going on for years (See Sexile). Legend has it that if you walk over the seal on the steps leading up to the college, your next sexual encounter will result in impregnation. Or you’ll meet the person you’re supposed to marry here at Brown. Or both. We can’t remember.

Perkins: 1. A beloved pancake restaurant that has not yet made it east of New York. 2. A first-year dorm that is nearly as far away as the nearest Perkins Restaurant. We hope you guys brought mopeds.

Plan for Academic Enrichment: Ruth’s vaguely sinister-sounding plan to ensure that your kids have a better Brown experience than you. (See Campaign for Academic Enrichment)

PLME: Brown’s Program in Liberal Medical Education lets you go straight into the Medical School without ever taking the MCATs. Pronounced phonetically, like “plee-me.”

post- :  Comes out every Thursday as an insert in the herald and covers music, film, theater, food, politics and campus culture, and are always looking for new talent.

Power Street Garage: Formerly one of the few lots where students could park; now, thanks to development, a place to gaze wistfully as a shuttle whisks you to your car in a new lot far, far away.

ProJo: The Providence Journal. Rhode Island’s largest daily newspaper. They get very excited when big things happen in this tiny state. Remember that “Survivor” guy Richard? Yeah, the one from Newport. He was on the cover of the ProJo for four days straight. Oh, and the’ve won some Pulitzers.

Providence Place Mall: One of the crowning achievements of the previous mayoral administration (see Cianci, Vincent), this sprawling shopping center provides almost everything you need in a 15-minute walk from campus. As long as everything you need can be found at chain stores, a multiplex and a food court.

Queer Alliance: The current name of the LGBTQ student organization. One of the most visible student groups on campus, it focuses on making Brown a more positive space for queer students by providing a variety of educational and social programming. And one or two huge, risque, highly publicized parties that are sometimes attended by Fox News producers (see Sex Power God).

Ratty: The Sharpe Refectory. According to legend, the full name got shortened to “Rat Factory,” and lazy Brown students took it a step further. It has road signs for easy navigation, but watch out for bottlenecks and congestion. Love it; it loves you.

RC: 1. The black sheep of the cola family. 2. “Resident Counselor,” the dedicated individual who will guide you through Orientation, help you adjust to college life, and give you (almost) free condoms, then persuade you not to vomit on yourself (or your roommate) after your first trip to Wriston Quad.

Reading period: Ten (or so) days off between when classes end and final exams begin. You’re supposed to finish up your work, but you’ll end up drinking a lot.

Rhode Island:  Lil’ Rhody is the smallest state in the nation with the longest name (The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations), and now, your home.  You will all learn to love the multitude of eccentricities particular to the culture of the Ocean state from Coffee Milk to Hot Wieners.

RIPTA: The bus. You can ride it for free with your Brown ID!

RISD: Rhode Island School of Design. Brown students can, at least in theory, take advangtage of classes at RISD, but the lack of storage space and the wildly different schedule RISD runs on hinder most Brown students from heading halfway down College Hill. But those who make it into classes at RISD find them to be well worth the trouble.

Rock, The: The John D. Rockefeller Jr. Library. The main humanities library on campus where students spend more time hitting the books than they ever thought possible, probably more because they get lost in the cryptic, dimly lit stacks and less because they’re motivated. Be warned of the ear-piercing, closing-time bell — and remember, if you’re there to hear it, you’ve been working too long.

Roommate contract: This document governs your interactions with your bunkmate-to-be and lays down important ground rules concerning his or her interactions with others. Sounds positively Big Brother, but can make a difference in your life if you take the time to look at it, fill it out, sign it and turn it in. (See Sexile.)

Sc.B.: Everyone else calls it a B.S. We should.

S/NC: Satisfactory/No Credit. The option to take any class “Pass/Fail.” One of the beauties of the New Curriculum. (See New Curriculum).

SciLi, The: The Sciences Library. Fourteen stories, color-coded according to the pH system (“The books get more ‘basic’ as you go higher up”), of books primarily in foreign languages. You’re supposed to have sex on the 13th floor before you graduate (we hear there’s a nice view of the city up there). Also home to the Friedman Study Center (see Frisc).

Sciences Park: The little area between the SciLi and McMillan. Nobody but tour guides calls it this.

Seekonk: A beautifully trashy municipality directly across the border in Massachusetts, with three multiplexes, strip malls, suburban paranoia and every chain store you could ever need. Only 10 minutes away by car/cab.

SexPowerGod: Queer Alliance’s annual, insane fall party. Four years ago, a producer from the O’Reilly Factor managed to get himself inside and shoot footage, and produced a segment calling Ruth and other university leaders “pinheads.”

Sexile: A merger of the words “exile” and “sex.” This is what happens if you have a roommate who wants to invite a new friend over to spend the night. You end up sleeping on the floor in the lounge. If you even have one.

Simmons, Ruth: Brown’s 18th president and the first black president of an Ivy League school. She and her red power suit have a cult-like following among students and her Plan for Academic Enrichment will give this year’s first-years everything we never had. (See Campaign, Plan for Academic Enrichment)

Smitty B: Otherwise known as Smith-Buonanno Hall, it’s one of the main academic buildings on Pembroke.

Spoons: The Assassins-type game every freshman unit ends up playing. You can identify first-years for several weeks because they’re carrying around plasticware. Also a delicious cafe in Wayland Square

Spring Weekend: In a good year, Spring Weekend means big-name bands playing on our very own Main Green, couches on Wriston, lots of drinking and casual sex. In a bad year, expect lots of reverb inside the hockey arena.

Stadium: It’s over a mile away. This would be a huge pain if anyone besides alumni went to football games.

SunLab: Located on the first floor of the CIT, the SunLab is filled with high-powered workstations for computer science students. Good luck trying to get a computer on the night before a big Comp Sci project is due. Or on Friday or Saturday night, for that matter.

T.A.: Teaching Assistant. They teach some intro-level language classes, as well as some courses in math and other departments. Some are helpful. Some are useless. Some will end up dating your roommate.

Thayer Street: Serving as the DMZ between Brown and its real-world neighbors, this avenue was formerly home to a plethora of eclectic shops and a roving motorcycle gang. Now it’s a glorified food court. But Chipotle might be coming soon!

Tom & Tom: The “Juice Guys” of Nantucket Nectars fame are indeed dedicated Brown alums. One of the two Toms comes back every year to talk to Professor Barrett Hazeltine’s management classes.

Trolley, The: A bus disguised to look like a trolley, run by RIPTA, which goes from Thayer Street to Kennedy Plaza and Federal Hill. The other route goes, um, somewhere else. (See RIPTA)

UCS: The Undergraduate Council of Students, which tries really, really hard to be an effective student governing body.

Unitcest: A merger of the words “unit” and “incest.” It’s when you hook up with someone in your unit. This is why “It’s Complicated” exists on Facebook.

University Hall: Come here to meet with deans or visit Ruth during her office hours. The oldest building on campus, it’s on the National Register of Historic Places.

Van Wickle Gates: So important that they’re only open twice a year. (Well, and for most of this summer. But they’re still really important.)

V-Dub: The Verney-Woolley Dining Hall. The junior member of Brown’s dining halls, it’s smaller, more intimate, features a Now That’s What I Call Music! soundtrack, and tends to draw mostly athletes and freshmen.

Warwick: Second-largest city in the state. The airport is here. Not much else.

Watson Institute: The Watson Institute for International Studies. Home of the International Relations concentration and world-renowned research.

WBRU: 95.5 FM, one of the largest radio stations in southern New England and the oldest college radio station in America. Purported to be “the original alt-rock.” We’re not arguing. (See also BSR)

Whispering Arch: At the entrance to the Infant Lab, there’s a stone arch. Station a friend on one side of it, then go to the other side and whisper into it. They’ll be able to hear you as if you were blowing in their ear. (see Infant Lab)

Wickenden Street and Wayland Square: These are two other commercial districts within walking distance that aren’t Brown-related. Wickenden is famous for its head shops and pubs. Wayland is known for its bookstores. Pick your poison. Or mix and match.

Williams, Roger: Founder of this great state, proponent of religious freedom, and now a giant statue in Prospect Park.

Writing Fellows: Writing Fellows suck the pain out of throwing together a paper the night before its due by labeling said effort a “draft,” and requiring that it be “edited” by a fellow student with “superior” writing talent.

Writing Center: Staffed by graduate students in a variety of disciplines, a place you can go to get one-on-one help editing or writing papers.

ZipCar: Short-term rental cars available in the Minden lot, as long as you’re over 21. Kind of lame-looking but actually pretty useful. And no, that ID you use to get into Fish Co won’t work. (Update- Apparently you now only have to be 18 to get a ZipCar.  I would delete the 21 part, but I think the FishCo joke is funny.)

RI Attorney General Patrick Lynch praised Craigslist for replacing the link to its “adult services” section with a black “censored” bar. Lynch was one of seventeen state attorneys general who petitioned Craigslist to remove the section, which they said encouraged prostitution and human trafficking.

The RI Department of Education will get more time to make a decision about the future of Hope High School. The once-failing school was praised for its 2003 reforms, which included a block schedule and common planning time for teachers, but many of those have been rolled back by RIDE, which deemed them too costly. Students at Hope have been protesting the changes since spring, including staging a walkout. RIDE will rule on the students’ request to restore the teachers’ planning time, which had been cut in half.

Sadly, you’ve already missed the chance to “feed the swine and brush the cows” at Coggesshall Farm (that was Saturday), but you still have time to get to the Museum of Work and Culture in Woonsocket, where admission is free today.

After the jump, some Labor Day suggestions of our own.

1. While mail carriers and your professors have today off, most retail workers are working harder than ever today.  Accept the irony, then head downtown to check out the Labor Day sales at the mall or your favorite local stores.

2.  Labor Day is the last day of the year when it’s okay to wear white shoes.  Yes, this includes Keds.  So host a white party: gather to say farewell to your white clothing with festive drinks that won’t stain it when you inevitably spill.  We recommend milk, but use your imagination.

3.  Remember the labor of reading and studying you haven’t done all weekend?  Maybe you should get on that.

4.  Just kidding.  Enjoy the holiday!

10 p.m.-12 a.m., OMAC

You are invited (probably over Facebook already) to a campus-wide party involving beach balls, glow sticks, lasers, and other colorful/fluorescent shenanigans. Warning: if you stay until midnight, you may go mad.

95.5 WBRU Dunkin Donuts Summer Concert Series presents COHEED and CAMBRIA / Manchester Orchestra / The Dear Hunter

7 p.m. (doors at 6), Bank of America City Center (Kennedy Plaza), $28

Tickets are still available for the last of BRU’s summer series, featuring MTV-award-winning new wave rock headliner Coheed and Cambria, danceable indie rock act Manchester Orchestra and The Dear Hunter, Boston-based band of similar sensibilities, not to be confused with Deerhunter.

Sex@Brown

7 p.m., Saloman 101

Don’t get too excited — this is a lecture. But on a taboo, provocative and entertaining topic, to be sure. This annual discussion is traditionally popular among freshmen, who will learn about “doing what you desire, not what you’re just okay with,” as speaker Alexis Saccoman ’04 advises. Saccoman speaks with compassion and withholds judgment, once beginning the talk with, “Now we’re going to talk about some sexy shit!!”

Bears can dress up too yo...

Todays installment of Brown A-Z features some more useful tidbits of information for those of amongst us who are new to the PVD.  On the food front we have The Gate (essential for Pembrookites), Jo’s (essential for Perkinites), Loui’s (essential for every person on this campus), and the super delicious Magic Bars at the Ratty.  Today’s list also features Lincoln Field, the site of the September 18th Big Boi extravaganza.  Enjoy!

Gate, The: The couch-infested rec room of Pembroke Campus. Simply decent pizza becomes stellar when you can buy it with meal credit instead of actual money.

GCB: The Graduate Center Bar, an actual bar buried in the basement of Grad Center. A good place to go on a weeknight to split a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. It’s $30 to become a member, but if you’re an illegal young’un you’ll have to stick to Fish Co. — they actually ID.

Graduate Center: Grad Center has all the charm of a sterile, riot-proof bunker — but without the sterility. Home to many of Brown’s sophomores, this five-building abomination has been plaguing the campus aesthetic since it was constructed, or by some accounts, assembled from Lincoln Logs. The only valuable thing about this structure is the land it is currently devaluing.

E. Gordon Gee Lavatory Complex: For the past four Spring Weekends, a sign has graced a bunch of Port-a-Potties to commemorate Brown’s shortest-tenured president. It is the only thing named after him on campus. Ever.

Hutchings-Votey Organ: Located in Sayles, it’s the largest one in the world! We suspect there aren’t many H-V organs in the world.

IMP: 1. International Mentoring Program to help first-year international students adjust to studying and living in the United States. 2. The wee folk who work long into the night in the bowels of the Ratty to make us delicious “magic bars.” (See magic bars)

Inside Brown: The University’s equivalent of your grandmother’s Christmas newsletter.

IPTV: We can watch TV on our computers now. But we can still complain that there are too few channels. It’ll replace regular cable someday.

Jo’s: Technically “Josiah’s,” the snack bar of choice for residents south of the Main Green. Located on the ground floor of New Dorm A, it’s the home of wraps, snacks, and fried foods — especially the Carberry. Mmmmm.

John Hay Library, The: One of those very collegiate libraries in which you feel like you shouldn’t touch anything. But it’s really nice inside. The Hay has many rare collections and is home to the University Archives, for you Brown history buffs.

Kennedy Jr., John Fitzgerald ’83: We’re glad he broke the family trend of Harvard attendance. Yes, he kept a pig in his dorm.

Lincoln Field: The green between Sayles and Thayer Street. The upper section is perfect for studying, while the lower part is often the site of football and Frisbee games.

LiSci: The glass and steel behemoth between main campus and Pembroke Campus, formally known as the Sidney E. Frank Hall for the Life Sciences. The logical extension of The Walk runs through it.

Loui’s: A Brook Street restaurant you will inevitably discover at 5 a.m., and hopefully you’ll remember it, too. Try the grilled muffins.

Magaziner, Ira ’69 P’06 P’07 P’10: The New Curriculum was his brainchild while he was an undergraduate. Now he’s the mastermind behind the Clinton Foundation.

Magic bars: One of the few delicious desserts at the Ratty. No, they don’t have weed in them. But they do have coconut, chocolate, graham cracker, and probably enough trans fats to kill a small animal. Tasty.

Main Green: If you haven’t figured out what this is, go home.

Manning Walk: The beautiful walkway from Soldier’s Arch through Sciences Park up to Barus and Holley. (See Sciences Park)

Meiklejohn: Pronounced like “nickel-john,” but with an “M.” Alexander Meiklejohn was a professor of philosophy. Meiklejohns are now the upper class counselors who dish straight truth about anything you need to know about academics at Brown.

MCM: The Department of Modern Culture and Media. Also the kickball roster for the College Hill ‘Dependent and the site of many a pretentious discussion of Godard.

Mocha: After the advent of Banner, the smarties over in CompSci created their own, much more user-friendly scheduling site. Using it during registration will make your life infinitely easier.

MPC: Minority Peer Counselor. The counselors who are specially trained to advise first-year students on minority issues.

Naked Doughnut Run: On the last night of reading period, dedicated scholars in the Rock and the Sci Li get a special treat: doughnuts! Made doubly delicious by the awkward nudes that hand them to you.

New Curriculum: This is what allows you take whatever classes you want, and what allows you potentially to have zero grades when you graduate. It’s 40 years old, but we still call it new. Go figure. (See New Dorm.)

New Dorm: Not so new anymore, the former Thayer Street quad is officially called Vartan Gregorian Quad…but don’t call it that. The two buildings contain upperclassmen suites, often coveted living space for juniors. Building A is home to Jo’s, a campus snack bar, and the Donald L. Saunders ’57 Family Inn at Brown.

New Pembroke: Allegedly built in 1970 by a disgruntled Brown student with a vendetta against the university and a penchant for riot-proofing. It’s all a concrete jungle except for the metallic pipe bear face viewed most clearly from the terrace of NP1. Residents of “da Broke” will also be privileged to the ups (CVS and East Side Pockets) and downs (drag racing motorbikes and screaming drunks) of living on Thayer Street. A 24-hour study space opened a couple years ago, making NP life just a little more tolerable.

9 a.m.: Too early for class. Don’t even ask about AB hour.

OMAC: Olney-Margolies Athletic Center. Your high school gym had more and better equipment, but the satellite gyms in Keeney, Emery halls and Grad Center will ease the crunch of overgrown athletes keeping you off machines in the OMAC.

Orientation: Used to be a week. Is now shorter or much longer, depending on how you look at. Enjoy this while it lasts. Being overscheduled will never be this relaxing again.

Orwig: Underused but beautiful music library; only open until 10 p.m.

OSL: The Office of Student Life bills itself as a “talented and compassionate group of professionals deeply committed to programs and services which support the education of Brown students.” Do not be fooled. When not actively trying to destroy beloved programs (residential counseling, BOLT), OSL runs its own version of Orwell’s “Room 101,” also known as the disciplinary system. Fortunately, regime change begins at home, and after the top-to-bottom staff changes of a couple years ago, students can hopefully look forward to an Office of Student Life that’s a little more student-friendly.